|
by Irene M. Swerdlow-Freed, Psy.D.
The early years of child development present serious questions and challenges for all parents. While a wide range of generalized and sometimes contradictory advice is available from books, newspaper articles, radio, and television, none of it effectively addresses the concerns of caring parents seeking information specific to the needs of their own children.
We have found that a few sessions with parents can be particularly helpful in addressing their specific concerns and assisting them in identifying effective and appropriate choices that can help their child and their life together as a family unit.
Parents may consult with us at the suggestion of a pediatrician who recognizes that they and their child are experiencing a high level of stress. Or parents may be referred by a daycare center due to the child's frequent crying, or aggressive or inappropriate behaviors. Often parents seek consultation on their own, as they wonder if their child is developing normally and how best to meet his/her intellectual, emotional, social or physical needs.
In these consultation sessions we provide information regarding normal phases of childhood development, assess the child's personality and temperament and help parents develop a parenting style and daily routines that best meet their child's needs. Parents understandably feel anxious when their child does not seem to be developing in accordance with their expectations. They may notice that a sibling or a friend's child developed certain abilities at an earlier age, or that their child appears very capable in some areas of development but behind in others. In the consultation sessions, we are able to assess developmental concerns and provide realistic expectations of developmental milestones, i.e. when a child would normally begin to talk, walk, become toilet trained, or share with other children.
Children do not develop at the same pace and usually the referred child's development is within the normal range. However, if deficits are noted, it is important that the child receive proper intervention as early as possible. We can help a parent learn how to facilitate their child's growth in areas where they have fallen behind or if warranted, work with the parent to procure needed assistance. As an example, if a child is unusually aggressive, we may be able to identify the causes for this behavior and suggest ways to distract the child or generate alternate responses. However, if the aggressive behavior appears to be related to the child's significantly delayed verbal language ability a referral for a hearing/speech evaluation and remedial services would be essential.
In addition to offering information regarding normal child development and available resources, we meet directly with the child to assess his/her personality and temperament. We gather historical and observational information and we seek to determine how the child interacts with parents, siblings and others. Is the child active or quiet? Is the child open to new experiences, or slow to warm up to other people and new situations? Is the child easily agitated or easily soothed?
Differences in temperament can be observed in very young infants, and a child's personality is a starting point that often sets a tone for the child-parent relationship. A parent's own temperament also impacts on that relationship and the fit between parent and child can greatly affect family interactions. For example, an active child may thrive on the numerous activities scheduled by an always-on-the-go parent, while a slow to warm up child is likely to resist by crying and withdrawing from the new experiences, confusing and frustrating the parent.
Every child and every family is different, and parenting information is most helpful when it is designed for a particular individual and family unit. Parents get advice from everyone, the media, neighbors, family members, daycare providers, and even strangers. Some of this information may be helpful, but often it may leave a parent feeling perplexed.
In our work with young children, we address specific areas of concern, identify the child's strengths, weaknesses and temperamental needs, reinforce effective parent-child interaction and reduce conflict within the family unit. We assist in designing activities and schedules that satisfy and challenge the child rather than trying the patience of child and parents alike. Our aim is to help each mother and father to be the best possible parent and help each child develop into a productive and fulfilled individual.
|
