No marriage is perfect, and just about every union goes through tough times. Couples argue and disagree, and feelings become hurt.
But there’s a difference between disagreements and constant emotional turmoil within a marriage.
If you’ve had serious thoughts of separating from your spouse or days where you feel like you can’t go on in your relationship anymore, this may be an indication of significant problems that could signal the relationship is in jeopardy.
Thankfully, this does not mean that your marriage is automatically doomed to failure.
If you’re worried about the state of your relationship, you might need marriage counseling. Keep these signs in mind.
1. You’re Not Communicating
One of the most obvious reasons you might need marriage counseling is if you’re not talking to each other, especially about important issues or concerns.
Communication is a huge key in any relationship. If you and your spouse aren’t willing to talk about your feelings, thoughts, or opinions, things will never get better.
2. You Avoid Certain Conversations
Maybe you do talk but not about everything that you need to talk about. You may worry about bringing up certain subjects to your spouse. Perhaps you’re fearful when it comes to talking about money, your sex life, or even your daily routine.
Again, open communication is hugely important. If you’re worried about what your spouse might say in response, couples counseling can help you to talk about these tough subjects in a neutral setting.
3. You Feel Like You’re on Opposing Teams
It’s important to remember that you and your spouse are a unit. While you might disagree on some things, ultimately, you’re on the same team.
If you view your spouse as the enemy, it’ll be harder to resolve issues or come to any agreements on important matters.
4. You Hide Things
Maybe you’re keeping secrets from your partner, or you’re afraid they’re hiding something from you. No matter the reason for your secrets, they will eventually come out.
So, whether you’re ashamed, embarrassed, or fearful of something, don’t keep it from your partner. If they find out on their own, it’s likely they’ll be more upset and feel hurt that you didn’t tell them.
5. You Think About Cheating
This is a hard telltale sign to hear for some people, but it happens. If you’re so unhappy in your marriage that you’ve thought about having an affair or seeking comfort from someone else, you probably need marriage counseling right away.
Infidelity can destroy a marriage. Before you let things get that far, consider couples counseling as a proactive defense.
6. You’re Hiding and Hoarding Money
Money is often a source of contention in marriages. But it can be especially problematic if one partner has excessive spending habits or is hiding away money from their mate.
There is such a thing as “financial infidelity.” Keeping money to yourself or spending frivolously from a joint bank account can do a lot of harm to an otherwise healthy marriage.
7. You Feel Like Roommates
Everyone has busy schedules. So, you might not get to spend as much time with your spouse as you would like. But if you feel as though you’re living more like roommates than a married couple, it could be a sign of a bigger problem.
No matter how busy you are, it is unhealthy and counter-productive to live totally separate lives in a marriage. If you feel like you’re just co-existing with your partner, marriage counseling can get you back on track.
8. The Same Issues Keep Coming Up
Again, it’s normal to have arguments in a marriage. But when you disagree as a couple, it’s important to come to some kind of resolution. That doesn’t always happen instantly, but you shouldn’t be stuck in place about the same subject all the time.
If you’re constantly arguing about the same topics, it’s a sign that either you’re not communicating effectively or someone isn’t listening or willing to compromise. A marriage counselor can help you to work through these issues when you can’t do it on your own.
9. You Find Your Mate Annoying All the Time
Perhaps it seems like everything your spouse does annoys you. It could be anything from the way they chew their food to the way they talk to other people.
They might not really be doing anything wrong. But if you can’t shake the way their idiosyncrasies are grating on your nerves, no matter what they’re doing, there are likely some underlying issues you need to work out as a couple.
10. You’ve Considered Marriage Counseling
Finally, one of the major signs you need marriage counseling is if you’ve considered it before. If you’ve been in an unhealthy marriage for a while, you might have thought about how counseling could help.
Don’t just think about it any longer, take action!
Have you and your spouse been struggling in your relationship for a while?
If any of the above-mentioned signs accurately represent an aspect of your marriage, it’s time to get marital therapy. Please, feel free contact us. Counseling can give you and your partner the skills you need to work through the problems in your marriage. And together, we can work on getting to the root of your issues and rebuilding a strong relationship.