According to Dr. John Gottman, a relationship and marriage expert, couples spend approximately six years in an unhappy relationship before they finally decide to seek any kind of help.
Perhaps you know you need to improve your marriage and that you can’t do it on your own.
But there are often factors that hold couples back. Maybe you’re not ready to admit there’s a problem. Or maybe you don’t believe your partner would be on board with marriage counseling.
However, timing is everything. You shouldn’t wait to improve your marriage. Letting problems build up over time typically only makes them worse.
So, why not start working on it right now?
Have You Already Thrown In the Towel?
Most things that you care about in your life take some kind of maintenance or upkeep. You change your car’s oil and rotate your tires regularly. You water your houseplants. And you tend to your garden.
Certainly, you wouldn’t wait until those things have a problem to give them the attention they need. So why should your marriage be any different?
If you really want to improve your marriage, don’t wait until it’s so “broken” that you’ve already given up. One of the main reasons timing is everything is because waiting too long can cause you to lose your motivation to fix things.
Some people see marriage counseling as a last-ditch effort to fix their issues when they’ve already made up their minds. In essence, they want someone else to tell them the marriage is broken and divorce is imminent.
Like many things in life, marriage requires maintenance. Don’t wait for the “check engine” light to come on in your relationship before you try to fix your problems.
Has Resentment Taken Over?
Most problems in a marriage start out small. You might think if you “let them go,” things will get easier over time. Unfortunately, when you choose not to address or discuss those problems with your spouse, it’s very hard to just let them go.
That can cause resentment to build up over time, which will never help to improve your marriage.
Instead, resentment tends to be a silent killer of sorts, destroying your relationship from the inside out. The worst part? Your partner may not even know your true feelings because you’ve never tole them what’s bothering you. They could think everything is fine, only to be blindsided by your resentment finally showing when you feel you can’t take any more.
It’s not always easy to talk about problems or communicate what you’re feeling effectively. That’s where counseling can help. By seeking help for the small issues, you can learn how to be a better communicator and listener within your relationship. As a result, you’ll be able to handle those small problems better and better as time goes on.
How Can You Improve Your Marriage Now?
Marriage counseling can do everything from improving communication to identifying behavioral patterns that can be toxic to your relationship. It can give you new insight into your marriage and help you to resolve conflicts in a healthy way.
If any of those things seem to be plaguing you or your relationship, what better time to improve your marriage than right now? The good news? You don’t have to get through it on your own.
Timing is everything, so don’t wait for things to break down before you give your relationship the care it deserves. Marital therapy can help, and you don’t have to wait for something extreme to happen to improve your marriage and learn the skills to make it last.
If you would like to learn more, feel free to contact us.